What is VALUE?
When I looked up the word I came across these definitions: price, importance, worth and significance. It is often measured by people based on their perception, so value in other words is perception.
I can say a rock that I found on the ground is valuable perhaps, as it may have traces of gold in it, and because that is a very rare and sought out commodity. It becomes something of worth because the world considers those elements valuable. So I guess we can safely say that value is influenced by people’s opinion That being said, if you do not see your worth, then nobody else will. It is through self perception that people determine whether you are of value or not.
However, often times, as people, we misinterpret what value really is and associate it with material things, lacking depth or any substance. This becomes misdirected value. Misdirected values are fleeting, temporary and often times do not benefit the next person and the results from it are often short term, low and sometimes even demeaning, what do I mean?
Let’s use an example to best define this term. Say your value as a woman, according to you, is beauty. What sort of feedback do you get from this?
Perhaps you get compliments, gifts and little trinkets. You may even get attention but is it good attention? Are you being noticed or acknowledged for the right reasons? Along with the compliments and the favours, you are also constantly compared, scrutinized and objectified by men who see you as nothing more than a pretty face. They won’t see your personality, your drive, or your intellect. All you have given them to work with as something of value, are your looks. These are replaceable with a younger, finer and prettier version of you. So their take back from this value will be, oh damn she pretty and that will be it.
What happens when that beauty disappears? All the things you gained with your good looks will all disappear because you’d have lost what deemed you to them, and to yourself, as valuable.
And say your value as a man, is money. What sort of feedback do you get from it? Probably attention, friends, women, an expensive lifestyle. With the snap of your fingers you could probably marry anyone you want. However, will the attention you’re getting be positive attention? You could get all of your heart’s desires, but it also brings you superficial people, who may only be friends with you because of your money. It could also harbour fake relationships. Many people’s take back will be, yooo, dude has a lot of money! And that will be it. What happens when that money disappears? All those fake friends will be gone. The for ‘better or for worse’, merely becomes ‘for better only’, and to them you’d have not only lost their attention, but your value to them as well.
And that’s the downside to misdirected value, it does not last. It withers with time and if that’s all you’re valuable for, then you wither along with it… instead of focusing on misdirected values, we should be grooming Good values instead, that remain with you even when the impermanent values disappear.
Good Values are kindness, compassion, love and joy. Values that not only benefit you, but the people around you as well. They strengthen your bonds and are generally pleasant. Even when the sky turns grey& the sun refuses to shine the people who see those values will value you. Know your worth, know what you deserve and FOCUS on what adds real value to you. If we add value to the people around us our own value will grow and their value of us will grow along with it.
Add a little value to someone’s life today. Who knows? you may be just what they need to realize their own worth as well.
– Rutendo Shoko