Growing up they always told me that if I mop the floor with my knees glued to the ground, it will decrease my worth regarding my bride price. They also told me that if I cannot master my house chores, no man would find me worthy of becoming his wife. My parents sacrificed all they could for me from birthing me, putting me into school, teaching me moral principles and values all for me to be recognized by a man one day.

 

My mid-twenties were always labelled as a questionable age regarding what I had achieved in life because everyone was concerned about my biological clock. My siblings went through a tough season of trying to groom me all because I was worth a kraal of cattle for which was an investment that would satisfy them for a short-lived period. I accepted that if I had a child out of wedlock that was a measurement of how much respect I deserved from my surroundings and that my child was illegitimate.

I blame no one for these ludicrous ideologies as generations before us may have been subjected to accept the aforementioned as true and had to abide by it.

I was always forewarned that my opinions had to be politically correct but then I asked myself if it is still an opinion if it has to make sense to what is depicted as “right”. Men leading in the political sector has become such a conventional method of electing yet when women take the lead, people always perceive the situation as a miracle. A leader simply has to be intellectually and mentally prepared to execute the duties regarding the welfare of his or her respective country, not sure why leadership requirements also include gender distinction.

 

We are currently fighting against gender violence yet we are the same people who are quick to judge when we come across victims of violence in all its aspects. We have been taught to accept the nonsense that men perform simply because we are trying to keep them. We have witnessed women who stay in unhealthy relationships simply because gifts and empty promises were used to shut them up. Every time we attempt to exercise our own strengths, we are villains because we are disobedient and defensive. We allow our self-esteem to be torn apart because we are afraid to speak up.

People label us with permanent descriptions, yet they have only witnessed a fraction of our lives…what has this world turned into?

My worth can only be determined by He who created me. His love for me never changed because of my short comings. My mistakes were only a detour designed for me to be prepared for the next stage of my life, so that I can be refined enough to get to my destination. I was naive, I was manipulated, I hurt innocent people but God was still attracted to my deficiencies. I guess that is the difference between God and humanity, I did not go through all this just for me to feel pain, be uncomfortable and wait for a miracle. God had my story written so that I could pass the baton stick to my successors so that they could also gain the strength to overcome.